What if I wasn't lonely when I woke up
What if I rose to the cry of a baby boy in a crib close by who saw the sun peaking in through the blinds at about 6:15
He wants a bottle and a show on TV
I'd make a pot of coffee share it with his mommy who tried to keep her eyes closed
So opposed to wake up time
She take it opposite of mine
Cream heavy like a Wu-Tang rhyme
I take it black espousing a line
Like if it's good enough for grandpa then it's good enough for me
She'd roll her eyes and sip thankfully
We'd get to breakfast in a bit
Strawberries
Cocoa Bunnies
And spend the day making memories
But I guess I haven't thought about it much
And though it'd sure be nice to have someone to talk to
I bet while I'd like that kind of love
For me it probably doesn't exist
And yes I wish I'd been open to trust so that I wouldn't be alone in this story
And yet I can't pretend I've had the time to fantasize about what could have been

I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me
I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me
I'm already lost
Can't imagine love has found me
I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me

But still maybe I would have an older son probably like 8 years old
He would like anime and Nintendo
He'd have a sister bout eleven who'd theater and truth be told
Quarantine would be affecting them both
She'd hear me listening to NPR Up First
Thinking what's up next
Or talking to my wife lacking subtext
Develop an anxiety bout washing her young hands
Just wishing she could be at school with all of her young friends
And he would drift away from straight A's
Thought that's all that I have come to expect
I'd have to sit with him through his homework to be assured that he was turning it in
And there'd be lots of family movies
Playing with the dog and talking together
But we
We know that's not what this is
And I can't say that it will happen ever

Quentin, are you sure you haven't thought about this before
It sounds like you've thought about this quite a lot
Quentin
Quentin

I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me
I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me
I'm already lost
Can't imagine love has found me
I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me
I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me
I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me
I'm already lost
Can't imagine love has found me
I'm already down
I can't let the what if's drown me

Hello Quentin